Childhood Friend of the Zenith
Chapter Summary
If he even thought about letting go, he could feel that his body would immediately explode. The sound of things breaking and reassembling echoed from within him. The energy he had barely managed to contain exploded outward in all directions.
Whirl, whirl, whirl—!
In the midst of the raging storm, he clung to consciousness, fighting to hold on.
His body seemed on the verge of bursting, swelling with unbearable pressure.
If he even thought about letting go, he could feel that his body would immediately explode.
Creak, crack.
The sound of things breaking and reassembling echoed from within him.
And throughout this, he felt his entire body being torn apart, the pain excruciating.
It was beyond mere injury.
Snap, snap—!
His bones shifted, his skin tore, his organs twisted, and his blood felt as though it were boiling.
Yet he couldn’t even scream.
If he let any sound escape, everything would be over.
He held his breath.
The violent energy continued to force its way into his body without pause.
He had long surpassed the limits of his physical endurance.
He had far exceeded the capacity his body could contain.
And yet—How was he still enduring this?
His skin felt like it was about to rip apart, his body screamed for release, begging for death.
Opening his eyes and closing them.
Breathing in and out.
In this state, where everything was pain and despair, all he could do was endure.
His body, holding on by a thread, kept breaking and rebuilding its structure, thousands of times over.
Crack.
The sound of breaking echoed.
Rip—!
The sound of tearing filled his ears.
Every part of his body felt pain, and he no longer knew where the damage was happening.
I want to die.
That was the only thought as the pain crossed his limits.
He wanted to give up and die.
Why was he enduring this suffering?
Why was he barely clinging to consciousness?
Thump, thump—thump, thump—!
Perhaps aware of his weakening mind, the energy inside him began to rampage even more.
It was desperate to break free.
‘They forced their way in, these damned things.
’He opened his eyes slightly, barely able to see.
A hollow laugh escaped him.
The space, once filled with water, was now entirely empty.
All that water had disappeared.
Where?
It had all gone into his body.
The once overflowing water had transformed into energy and filled him to the brim.
Thump—!
“Ugh…!
”Unable to suppress the recoil, he let out a breath.
A blue energy seeped out from his slightly parted lips.
Thump—!
Perhaps as a result, his heart throbbed heavily.
The pain from even the smallest tremor was overwhelming; that was truly close.
‘Damn it.
’How much longer?
Just how much longer did he have to endure?
This ordeal had made him realize a few things.
Even at the edge of his limits, he learned just how resilient humans could be.
Even when it felt like death was imminent, here he was, somehow holding on.
Rip.
“…!
”A patch of skin tore away.
Not just a cut; an entire section of his skin peeled off.
Sss…And new skin grew in its place.
It hurt as it tore.
And it hurt as it regenerated.
This was torment beyond torment.
Ah, damn it.
I should have just handed everything over back then.
I should have just surrendered when I had the chance.
Now, a pang of regret lingered.
‘Ha.
’What kind of reward was I aiming for in this life, anyway?
Maybe calling this life a life was a stretch now.
If I survive this, I won’t be human anymore.
‘…This is bullshit.
’I’d wanted to live like a human.
Now I wouldn’t even be that.
What an empty life this has turned out to be.
With hands trembling from the pain, he clenched his jaw, bracing himself.
[Then.
][Why are you enduring this?
]A voice echoed in his mind.
It had been whispering ever since he started holding on.
The voice sounded like the one filled with bloodlust, but the atmosphere felt different.
‘Might just be a hallucination.
’The voice was faint, likely just a hallucination brought on by the pain.
It didn’t matter.
He wasn’t particularly afraid of going insane.
[You could find peace if you just let go.
Why bother enduring this?
]It was just a little noisy.
[You claimed not to fear death, so why cling to life?
]‘Quiet down.
You’re distracting me.
’[It doesn’t make sense.
]‘Who asked you to understand?
’Even I don’t understand it; how could someone else?
Why am I even doing this?
‘It’s too late to question why.
’It was too late to be finding reasons for why he had come this far.
If I looked, I could find plenty of justifications.
Perhaps thinking of future crises, enduring for the sake of saving the world.
Or maybe desiring to transcend humanity and reach a higher place.
I could make up countless reasons, but—None of it means anything to me.
[Then why…]Who knows.
There might have been a reason once.
Maybe there used to be one.
If it were Shin Noya here, he would probably have endured, claiming he needed to save the world, driven by some conviction.
But I’m no hero like that old man.
I don’t particularly care about the world.
Whether a war erupts, or secrets of the world surface, it doesn’t matter to me.
If I had to find a reason…‘Just, if I gave up easily, I’d lose face in front of the kids.
’Maybe it’s just that.
[That’s all…?
Just that?
]The voice sounded as if it couldn’t believe the answer.
Who the hell was this, to be so condescending?
‘You too now?
Ganging up on me?
’How absurd.
First, the bloodthirsty voice was mocking him, and now—‘Even my own lingering regrets are mocking me.
’Even his attachment to remaining human had started to taunt him.
As he growled in frustration, the voice seemed to hesitate.
[…I… I don’t want to become a monster.
]The voice was forlorn, filled with resentment and sorrow.
‘I know.
’He understood well.
He had wanted to die as a human.
He hadn’t achieved it in his past life, but he had wanted to hold onto this one thing.
It may have become impossible now, after becoming a demon, but it had been a cherished desire.
[Even now, you could give up…]‘I could.
’If he let go now, he would die immediately.
Yes, as a human.
As a human, he could die.
Not as some superior being or an unknown entity.
He could die with the flesh he was born with, as himself.
The thought brought a smile to his face.
Only—Only a human would cling so foolishly to this.
Was it that?
Did he want to live as a human while simultaneously desiring to remain human?
It’s absurd.
He knew it well.
It was a selfish desire.
Not a noble sense of human dignity or unyielding pride.
It was simply the desire to remain beside those dear to him, as a human.
[…I… I want to be human.
]The voice, filled with lingering attachment and sorrow, continued to strangle him.
Telling him he didn’t deserve it.
Telling him it was already too late to qualify.
Logic ruthlessly scolded him, but selfish desire reared its head again and again.
It’s too late, but who cares?
Even if this life differs, can’t it be different this time?
How pathetic.
Time flowed, but he remained the same.
Still, despite it all—‘I’m sorry.
’[…]‘I’m afraid I can’t do that.
’His life had been a series of choices.
And he had never once avoided weighing each decision.
In his past life, his history had been determined by choosing the heavier option.
And this time was no different.
He would choose the heavier path.
He weighed his regrets and the happiness of those he cherished.
It wasn’t even something that needed to be decided.
He had already known it in his heart.
[…]Perhaps because he had reached that point of realization.
The lingering voice faded from his mind.
‘I’m sorry.
’Still, he apologized once more.
He had never apologized for himself before, but this once, he had to.
Boom—!
In rebellion, the energy surged stronger.
With it, the pain intensified.
And then, his body began to change.
Buzz—!
The energy that had been swelling endlessly finally began to move.
From his toes to his head, it surged through him, driving him to madness.
Grrrr—!
“Guh… ugh…”A vortex.
The massive energy swirled and transformed into a whirlwind.
Crack, snap—!
The shell that had been cracking broke away all at once, and his shattered bones reformed.
Whoosh—!
As his structure changed, the energy followed new pathways.
Where was its destination?
He realized it immediately.
The heart.
The vast energy inside him turned toward his heart, stirring his entire body.
Crush—!
“Grrraaaaah!
”The energy that had already seemed to push him to his limit now gathered in his chest, an overwhelming pressure unlike anything before.
And it wasn’t over.
Thump—!
The compressed energy shrank even further.
It felt as if he might implode at any second.
He had to hold on.
Even if it felt impossible, he had to hold on.
Creak, crack—!
He could hear things breaking.
Something inside him had started to shatter.
Whatever container once held him had already broken, so what was shattering now?
The cracking sounds from inside soon echoed outward.
The space around him was breaking down.
Thump—!
Thump—!
His chest pounded violently.
The space twisted.
The sensation of continuous collapse.
In the midst of this, he barely held onto his mind.
He clung to consciousness desperately.
He wouldn’t let go.
The only time he could release his grip on reality was when everything finally ended.
He was determined it had to be that way.
So, he held on.
Thump…Thump…The fierce pounding that had been shaking him every second gradually began to ease.
And as the intensity waned, so did the pain.
Just when it seemed as though it might finally be over—Thud.
A faint tremor pulsed in his chest.
Whoosh—!
The energy he had barely managed to contain exploded outward in all directions.
Engulfed by this incomprehensible surge, he could no longer hold on, and his consciousness slipped away.
Then—“Gasp…!
”When he finally opened his eyes again,so much had changed.