As A Mafia Boss, I Refuse To Be An Extra
Chapter Summary
Nera’s smile remained warm, understanding and carrying the same fondness she’d shown when teaching a broken street rat about family and honor. The kind who chooses family over everything else, who honors his word even when it costs him and who stands against injustice towards his own even when it costs him. The room, Nera’s accusing face, the blood, the bodies, reality and nightmare all bleeding together into chaos his broken mind couldn’t separate.
Damian’s smile widened, still gentle despite being completely broken inside.
"Can’t you see her?
She’s right there, standing next to the wall.
She looks the same as she did before...
before they...
" His voice trailed off, pain flickering across his features.
Kuro stared at Damian, then at the empty wall, then back at Damian again, as understanding crashed down with terrible clarity.
’Mad...
Stupid human has gone mad!
’The thought emerged with horror, with self-recrimination and with absolute guilt.
’Should have stayed!
Should never have left!
This Kuro’s fault!
Stupid Kuro left stupid human alone and now stupid human broken!
’He moved closer, pressing against Damian’s hand, his mental voice becoming softer and more careful.
’Stupid human...
listen Kuro.
You use sick Art again?
The one that eat things?
The one Kuro hate?
’Damian blinked slowly, his eyes losing focus.
"S-sick Art?
" Fragments of memory surfaced through the chaos.
CRUNCHHis teeth tearing through flesh.
RIPHis hands pulling creatures apart.
The taste of blood and wrong meat filling his mouth.
Lysa’s broken body in a creature’s hand.
The desperate charge, the exploding punch, the– "Yes," he whispered.
"I was...
fighting in the portal.
I had to...
had to save them...
had to use everything...
" His eyes moved around the room, seeing it properly for the first time.
White walls, metal table and the single chair across from him, currently empty.
It was not the portal and not the nightmare landscape.
He was back...
back to their world.
’I’m...
hallucinating?
She’s not really here...
’The realization hit him like cold water, brief clarity emerging through the madness consuming his mind.
’Nera is dead...
Has been dead for years in my previous life...
This is just my broken mind showing me what I desperately want to see.
’He turned slowly, looking back at where Nera stood in his vision, his smile becoming heartbreakingly sad.
"You’re not real...
right?
" For the first time, the hallucination actually spoke back to him.
Nera’s smile remained warm, understanding and carrying the same fondness she’d shown when teaching a broken street rat about family and honor.
"No, Alessio.
I’m not real.
" The admission should have broken the illusion.
Should have made her disappear.
But she remained, solid in his fractured perception and more real than the room around him.
Damian’s hands clenched on the table, his entire body starting to shake.
"I’m sorry," he whispered, his voice cracking.
"I’m so sorry I didn’t come in time–" His voice suddenly rose, frustration bleeding through.
"But you didn’t TELL me!
You said it was just a meeting!
You said you’d be SAFE!
" His hands slammed on the table.
"How was I supposed to KNOW?!
" "Alessio.
" Nera’s voice cut through his spiral, gentle but firm.
"Look at me.
" He did, his crimson eyes meeting her dark gaze, tears streaming down his face now, but anger mixing with the grief.
"You did nothing wrong," she said softly.
"What happened to me wasn’t your fault.
You were exactly where I’d sent you that day and you followed my orders perfectly like you always did.
" "ORDERS?!
" Damian’s voice cracked into a shout.
"I always followed your ORDERS!
Like a good dog!
Like a–" He choked on the words, standing up from his chair violently.
"Why didn’t you let me STAY?!
Why did you send me away that day?!
You KNEW those people were dangerous!
" His breathing became ragged.
"You left me!
YOU left ME!
And I–" His voice broke.
"I found you and you were already– your eyes were– they wouldn’t close and I–" "You were a young man, Alessio," Nera interrupted, her voice carrying the same patient teaching tone she’d used when correcting his manners.
"Just a child who’d already survived more than most adults ever face in their lives.
What happened was my failure to secure proper protection for myself, not yours for following instructions I gave you.
" She knelt beside him in his vision, her hand seeming to touch his shoulder.
"I’m proud of you, Alessio.
Proud of what you’ve become.
You took the lessons I taught you about family and built something meaningful with them.
You survived when you should have died so many times and you protected people who needed protection.
" Her smile became radiant, carrying genuine pride.
"You became the kind of person I always knew you could be.
The kind who chooses family over everything else, who honors his word even when it costs him and who stands against injustice towards his own even when it costs him.
" Damian stared at her, his anger draining away, leaving only desperate hope.
"R-Really?!
" His voice came out small and broken.
"You’re...
you’re really proud of me?
Even though I failed?
Even though–" Suddenly, Nera’s expression changed completely without warning and the warmth vanished as if it had never existed.
Her smile twisted into something cold and accusatory and filled with pure hatred that burned like acid.
"No!
" The single word hit like a physical blow.
Her face became a mask of fury and absolute disgust, her voice dropping to something venomous and cruel.
"I hate you, Alessio!
You should have arrived on time to save me!
You should have protected me!
It was all your fault!
" Horror crashed across Damian’s features with his body going rigid.
"What– no– you just said– which one is REAL?!
" His voice rose again, desperate and confused.
"Are you proud or do you HATE me?!
I can’t– I don’t–" "You were too slow!
" Nera’s hallucination screamed at him, her beautiful features twisted with rage.
"Too weak!
Too pathetic and useless!
While I was being raped and murdered by those animals, where were you?!
Across the city doing absolutely NOTHING!
" "I KILLED THEM!
" Damian’s scream was raw, his hands pulling at his own hair.
"I killed ALL of them!
The whole cartel!
Everyone!
I made them SUFFER!
" His breathing became erratic.
"Doesn’t that COUNT for anything?!
DOESN’T IT?!
" "YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!
" Her voice became inhuman, echoing wrong.
"You should have FELT it happening!
Should have SENSED I was in danger!
But you were completely useless!
WORTHLESS!
Just like you were before I found you bleeding in that alley!
" "STOP IT!
" Damian’s hands moved to cover his ears.
"You’re not real!
You’re not REAL!
This is just my head, this is just–" But the words kept coming and kept cutting.
"I saved you!
Gave you everything you could have wanted!
A name!
A family!
Purpose and meaning!
And you repaid me by letting me DIE ALONE!
Letting those animals VIOLATE me and TORTURE ME while you did absolutely NOTHING to stop it!
" Damian’s legs gave out.
THUDHe collapsed, hitting the floor hard with his voice breaking.
"I tried!
I TRIED!
What else was I supposed to DO?!
" The anger was draining now, replaced by something hollow.
"I’m sorry!
I’m sorry!
Please, I’m–" "Sorry isn’t enough!
SORRY DOESN’T BRING ME BACK FROM THE DEAD!
Sorry doesn’t erase what they did to me!
What YOU let them do by being too SLOW!
" And the fight left him completely.
Damian curled into himself on the floor, making himself smaller, his voice dissolving into broken whispers.
"It was my fault...
all my fault...
should have been faster...
" His eyes moved rapidly, tracking things that weren’t there, seeing horrors that existed only in memory and madness.
The room, Nera’s accusing face, the blood, the bodies, reality and nightmare all bleeding together into chaos his broken mind couldn’t separate.
"Should have died instead...
should have been me...
my fault my fault all my fault...
" **** Kuro watched in absolute horror, his small body trembling.
He’d tried to reach Damian through their mental connection and tried every communication method he knew.
But Damian wasn’t hearing him and wasn’t responding.
He was completely lost in whatever hell his fractured mind had created.
Tears formed in Kuro’s blood-red eyes, spilling down his small face as he watched his human – his stupid, brave and broken human – curl in the corner like a terrified child.
’Stupid human...
Kuro here...
Please hear Kuro...
’His mental voice emerged as barely a whisper, broken with grief.
’Don’t leave Kuro alone...
Come back...
Please come back...
’But Damian remained lost, trapped in his own mind, reliving trauma and guilt and horror on an endless loop.
His lips kept moving, muttering the same phrases over and over.
"My fault...
should have saved her...
too slow...
worthless...
my fault...
" Kuro pressed against Damian’s curled form, his small body providing what comfort he could.
Which was none.
Because Damian couldn’t feel him, couldn’t hear him and was somewhere far away where Kuro couldn’t follow.
And all Kuro could do was stay there, crying silently, watching his human break apart piece by piece.
Outside the interrogation room, SFD officers moved through hallways, organizing testimonies and processing information.
Nobody checked on the boy in Room 7.
They’d get to him eventually after the important witnesses.
After the Imperial heirs and after the people who mattered more.
So Damian remained alone with his madness.
And Kuro remained alone with his grief.
And in the corner of a cold white room, a broken boy continued apologizing to a ghost.